Mars and Venus in interviews
"Well, first off, don't interview a guy if a woman is available. Guys don't notice anything. I probably asked twenty of DiMaggio's teammates about the party after the 1947 World Series at the Waldorf-Astoria. And they'd say, 'Aw it was great! There was a band and everything was first-class. Joe was real happy that night!'
Then I'd ask one of their wives to describe the party. And she'd say, 'Yes, it was a wonderful party. But the flowers were dreadful. And the food was late. And Phil Risutto's mother came in wearing the oddest hat...'
They know everything. Guys are hopeless."
--from the chapter on Richard Ben Cramer in The New New Journalism, in which top-notch nonfiction writers are interviewed about their work habits. I bought it last week for $6 on the discount shelf at Dog Eared Books, and it's been a pretty good read! It's kind of like Coders at Work for journalists.
I've definitely found there are differences in what men and women tend to remember, but I wouldn't say that one gender is better to interview than the other-- the information you get is just different. I've been exasperated at my husband many a time when trying to get details on something emotional or interpersonal ("They broke up? What happened? Well, what did he say? You didn't ask?") but he's amazing at remembering, say, how many miles per gallon his car could get in high school.
It's not surprising that women would have the dirt on what a party was really like-- but I bet every one of those men interviewed could remember the final scores of all seven games of that year's World Series, and lots of them could still give a pretty mean play-by-play.
Then I'd ask one of their wives to describe the party. And she'd say, 'Yes, it was a wonderful party. But the flowers were dreadful. And the food was late. And Phil Risutto's mother came in wearing the oddest hat...'
They know everything. Guys are hopeless."
--from the chapter on Richard Ben Cramer in The New New Journalism, in which top-notch nonfiction writers are interviewed about their work habits. I bought it last week for $6 on the discount shelf at Dog Eared Books, and it's been a pretty good read! It's kind of like Coders at Work for journalists.
I've definitely found there are differences in what men and women tend to remember, but I wouldn't say that one gender is better to interview than the other-- the information you get is just different. I've been exasperated at my husband many a time when trying to get details on something emotional or interpersonal ("They broke up? What happened? Well, what did he say? You didn't ask?") but he's amazing at remembering, say, how many miles per gallon his car could get in high school.
It's not surprising that women would have the dirt on what a party was really like-- but I bet every one of those men interviewed could remember the final scores of all seven games of that year's World Series, and lots of them could still give a pretty mean play-by-play.
On love and change
"We just do what we want to do. We're not here to suppress each other; we complement each other. He looks great whatever he does. I'm constantly changing, evolving. That's good, right?
...Neither of us is ever scared to express ourselves or feels the pressure to conform. And people are always saying, 'What's he going to do next with his hair?' "
-Victoria Beckham in the January 2011 InStyle UK
Though Posh and Becks are often ridiculous, I love this aspect of their coupling. In any long-term relationship, it can be very easy for two people to unconsciously hold each other back: into certain roles, looks, or behaviors. I think this subtle suppression is a big part of why marriage sometimes gets a bad rap. Staying open to a partner's changes, from hairstyles to jobs, is something that most of us have to actively work on.
The Beckhams have had some public bumps in the road, but they definitely seem to cheer each other on and allow each other to evolve, both in their styles and careers. And after 12 years of marriage (which seems like an eternity in celebrity-ville) they seem to be going strong.
The imminent light you offer
Forget about your shoes; people will judge
you by your shine, the imminent light you offer them.
Be a lamppost in wilderness, be the elephant
in the showroom.
--from the Jeannine Hall Gailey poem "I Forgot to Tell You the Most Important Part"
I'm reprinting this bit of the poem in earnest, but Hall Gailey may have been poking a bit of fun at the exact type of one-size-fits-all advice I so love. I'm not a cool kid, so I can't quite tell-- I just straight up like the poem.
you by your shine, the imminent light you offer them.
Be a lamppost in wilderness, be the elephant
in the showroom.
--from the Jeannine Hall Gailey poem "I Forgot to Tell You the Most Important Part"
I'm reprinting this bit of the poem in earnest, but Hall Gailey may have been poking a bit of fun at the exact type of one-size-fits-all advice I so love. I'm not a cool kid, so I can't quite tell-- I just straight up like the poem.
Things I've Bought that I Love, Vol. 2
A little roundup of recent material acquisitions that have made me happy. For previous entries, click here.
Shopsin's General Store 5-year diary
To be fair, I didn't buy this-- it was a going-away gift I received from my former office-mates last year. It's a 5-year diary that lets you view past entries as you write new ones (so five years' worth of February 9ths are all on the same page.) There's also a space to log the places you've traveled and the books you've read.
I started filling it out with my simple daily activities on January 1st, and I really look forward to keeping it up. It's a great gift, especially for someone embarking on a new phase of life.
Everyday Shea Moisturizing Body Lotion
Paraben-free, all natural, free trade, independently owned, pleasantly scented, and cheap enough ($14 for a huge 32 ounce bottle) that I can use it all over, every day. Plus they give 10% of revenue to charity. Basically the holy grail of body lotion.
Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey
Did reading those words just give you flashbacks to the mid- to late-nineties? I know, I know. But trust me, I just bought a tube of this, and unlike other relics from that era (wide leg jeans, Tommy Girl perfume, Mike's Hard Lemonade, the Dixie Chicks) I actually liked this more the second time around. It's like the makeup version of the movie Clueless-- definitely worth a revisit.
Mary Green Sleepwear
I know it's a white whine, but even if you're willing to spend some cash, it's hard to find actually nice things. I've been bummed to venture into fancy lingerie boutiques and find that European luxury brands have taken to using synthetic fabrics and outsourced manufacturing (i.e. this $100 La Perla bra, made in China out of polyester.)
Thank goodness for Mary Green! Mary Green is a San Francisco-based designer I discovered a few years ago when searching for a nice slip to wear under skirts, and I've been a huge fan ever since. She has a refreshingly basic website (no flash! no music!) and her prices are very reasonable for 100% silk. I don't love all her designs, but she has a huge selection and some really beautiful basics. She makes men's stuff too.
I recently bought a bunch of Mary Green things during a big after-Christmas sale. The silk romper and kimono are my new favorites for lounging around the apartment, and I'm feeling very Liz Taylor in Butterfield 8.
Her products are made in China, but at least she passes on the money she saves in manufacturing to her customers with low prices. It's also not a sweatshop situation: Mary Green was recognized by Congress in 2008 for "ethical and sustainable entrepreneurship" and a "commitment to creating better lives for people living in the shadow of poverty and deprivation throughout the third world."
Custom Probiotics CP-1
If you don't care about probiotics, you can kindly skip to the next item. But if you do (and if you've ever taken antibiotics, you should) you ought to know about Custom Probiotics. I've been taking acidophilus since I was a kid, and the CP-1 formula is the highest potency I've found anywhere (50 billion micro-organisms per capsule, ten times more than Jarro-Dophilus' 5 billion.)
Nexus S Android phone from Google
I'm pretty sure I was one of the last people in San Francisco without a smart phone (prior to getting the Nexus S in December, I was still using the Nokia that came free with my calling plan in 2006) but it was worth the wait. I've been really happy with the device and really have no complaints about it.
I didn't technically buy this either (it was a gift) but I am paying for my calling plan, so it halfway counts? Anyway, it's a product I've acquired that I love.
Shopsin's General Store 5-year diary
To be fair, I didn't buy this-- it was a going-away gift I received from my former office-mates last year. It's a 5-year diary that lets you view past entries as you write new ones (so five years' worth of February 9ths are all on the same page.) There's also a space to log the places you've traveled and the books you've read.
I started filling it out with my simple daily activities on January 1st, and I really look forward to keeping it up. It's a great gift, especially for someone embarking on a new phase of life.
Everyday Shea Moisturizing Body Lotion
Paraben-free, all natural, free trade, independently owned, pleasantly scented, and cheap enough ($14 for a huge 32 ounce bottle) that I can use it all over, every day. Plus they give 10% of revenue to charity. Basically the holy grail of body lotion.
Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey
Did reading those words just give you flashbacks to the mid- to late-nineties? I know, I know. But trust me, I just bought a tube of this, and unlike other relics from that era (wide leg jeans, Tommy Girl perfume, Mike's Hard Lemonade, the Dixie Chicks) I actually liked this more the second time around. It's like the makeup version of the movie Clueless-- definitely worth a revisit.
Mary Green Sleepwear
I know it's a white whine, but even if you're willing to spend some cash, it's hard to find actually nice things. I've been bummed to venture into fancy lingerie boutiques and find that European luxury brands have taken to using synthetic fabrics and outsourced manufacturing (i.e. this $100 La Perla bra, made in China out of polyester.)
Thank goodness for Mary Green! Mary Green is a San Francisco-based designer I discovered a few years ago when searching for a nice slip to wear under skirts, and I've been a huge fan ever since. She has a refreshingly basic website (no flash! no music!) and her prices are very reasonable for 100% silk. I don't love all her designs, but she has a huge selection and some really beautiful basics. She makes men's stuff too.
I recently bought a bunch of Mary Green things during a big after-Christmas sale. The silk romper and kimono are my new favorites for lounging around the apartment, and I'm feeling very Liz Taylor in Butterfield 8.
Her products are made in China, but at least she passes on the money she saves in manufacturing to her customers with low prices. It's also not a sweatshop situation: Mary Green was recognized by Congress in 2008 for "ethical and sustainable entrepreneurship" and a "commitment to creating better lives for people living in the shadow of poverty and deprivation throughout the third world."
Custom Probiotics CP-1
If you don't care about probiotics, you can kindly skip to the next item. But if you do (and if you've ever taken antibiotics, you should) you ought to know about Custom Probiotics. I've been taking acidophilus since I was a kid, and the CP-1 formula is the highest potency I've found anywhere (50 billion micro-organisms per capsule, ten times more than Jarro-Dophilus' 5 billion.)
Nexus S Android phone from Google
I'm pretty sure I was one of the last people in San Francisco without a smart phone (prior to getting the Nexus S in December, I was still using the Nokia that came free with my calling plan in 2006) but it was worth the wait. I've been really happy with the device and really have no complaints about it.
I didn't technically buy this either (it was a gift) but I am paying for my calling plan, so it halfway counts? Anyway, it's a product I've acquired that I love.
