The woman who waits
"The woman who waits for something magical to happen will die beautiful, ignored, overlooked, curled in her 'shell,' jabbering in three languages, never realizing the potential she possessed all along."
-- from Elle Magazine's February 2013 "Ask E. Jean" advice column, in response to an overachieving, conventionally pretty tri-lingual reader who has found herself faltering in her late twenties after years of excelling in forums such as school.
I can say without hesitation that E. Jean Carroll's column is the number one reason that I continue to subscribe to Elle. She is just an absolute gem.
Her advice in this instance also dovetails very well with the recent Harvard Business Review article which I discovered thanks to the lovely Laura Oppenheimer, entitled "Women Need To Realize Work Isn't School."
The art of paring down decisions
Who else remembers Doug Funny's very pared-down closet?
The WiFi was abysmal during my latest cross-country flight, so it's good that in the airport I picked up the October issue of Vanity Fair. This issue was, by the way, really heavily focused on Silicon Valley, with lots of pieces on startup founders, tech executives, and a full profile of Y Combinator, which was interesting (and I have to say pretty validating, even though I like to rib the old media types at VF from time to time.)
A particularly interesting article was Michael Lewis' in-depth profile of President Obama. Lewis asked one question several times during the six month period that he interviewed the President, and I think it's one that could work well for other high-profile interview subjects:
"Assume that in 30 minutes you will stop being president. I will take your place. Prepare me. Teach me how to be president."
The first couple times this question came up, Lewis says Obama's answers were a bit "dull and expected." But during one sit-down discussion aboard Air Force One, the President opened up with specific advice that I think could be useful for many of us regardless of political affiliation. I'm not sure that blue and gray suits are my thing, but maybe it's something I should look into:
You also need to remove from your life the day-to day problems that absorb most people for meaningful parts of their day. "You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits," he said. "I'm trying to pare down decisions. I don't want to make decisions about what I'm eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make." He mentioned research that shows the simple act of making decisions degrades one's ability to make further decisions. It's why shopping is so exhausting.
"You need to focus your decision-making energy. you need to routinize yourself. You can't be going through the day distracted by trivia."
The San Francisco scene
"The San Francisco scene remained a layered, complex mulch from which sprouted some pretty advanced ideas: work should be spiritually sustaining; people should care for one another; riches should be shared; fun should be had.
There was a feeling in the air that humans had the potential to be more than workaday drudges. We had the resources then to make life amazing. In fact, resources begat resources, love begat love, and -- oh, yeah -- work begat work.
With a little work (or a lot, as it turned out), we could do anything, even save the world."
With a little work (or a lot, as it turned out), we could do anything, even save the world."
-- from a very interesting and inspiring letter to the editor in the September issue of Vanity Fair penned by a woman named Jeanne Wilkinson, in response to a long piece published by VF in July about the storied milieu in San Francisco during the famed 1967 "Summer of Love."
Things have certainly changed since then -- and a lot of that idealism was quite misguided -- but it seems a core part of the energy Wilkinson describes remains here in San Francisco. It's why I think things feel so fundamentally different here than in, say, New York (although they are finally starting to appropriate some of the old San Francisco attitude out east, I'm not sure they'll ever quite get it.) I love NYC to pieces but it's just not the same.
And despite all of the criticism about California and the Bay Area being "unfriendly to business," I think it's this unique core belief system that has made this a hub of two things that seem to be at odds: Forward-thinking business innovation and personal livability.
I say, long live the San Francisco scene.
I say, long live the San Francisco scene.
On habits, and being human
"But there was a pervasive melancholy, the vague sense that something
bright and happy and true was missing from my life—a wonderful friend
and not just a reliable route to comfort and satisfaction.
I suppose
that these are signs of addiction, much as the way you repeatedly reach
for the matches in your pocket when you’re trying to give up smoking. But please remind me: What’s so bad about addiction? I can’t remember.
Isn’t it something about giving up your freedom? Isn’t freedom an
illusion?"
--from an article written by Jeffrey Steingarten in the May 2012 issue of Vogue
Lots of people know Jeffrey Steingarten from his television appearances on the Food Network as well as from his role as food critic for Vogue Magazine (I know, to many that sounds like an oxymoron, just like Ethiopian cuisine -- which of course exists and is delicious.)
I've never gotten into any of his articles as much as I got into "Mr. Clean," which he wrote during and after his experience on The Master Cleanse, a trendy and super strict fast that consists of ingesting lemonade and little else for at least 10 days. The whole piece was super sharp: At times very funny, at times very reflective, at all times very good.
