"It's the clothes, not you."
"After working for nearly two decades in the fashion industry, she knows better than most that when the clothes don't fit you right, move on: It's the clothes, not you."
--from a profile of model Kate Dillon in the April 2010 issue of Vogue
Male readers may see this as a no-brainer, but how many times have we women hemmed and hawed in a dressing room, trying to convince ourselves that it could make sense to buy an article of clothing-- if only we lost 5 pounds, were wearing high heels, had a true need for a sequined cocktail dress, etc.?
I thought Kate Dillon's perspective was so simple and freeing. It makes so much sense to just move on if it doesn't feel good right away-- it's not like there's a shortage of clothing out there.
Dress shopping without the "W" word
One thing I learned in the past year is that any time a
product has the word "wedding" attached to it, the price is at least double what it should be. The first area in which this is apparent is
clothing.
For those of you who don't know, wedding dresses can be really expensive; I'm talking thousands of dollars, easily. And that's just at places like David's Bridal-- way before you get into Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier territory. That's fabulous if you can afford it-- but what if you're on a tight budget?
My wedding gown cost only $380. Needless to say, I'm really, really proud of that.
One of my favorite non-husband-and-wife photos from the wedding-- me and my college roommate and dear friend Katie Fernandez
My tips for getting dressed on your wedding day without going broke:
1. Don't go to a wedding or formal dress shop.
You can find the most amazing gowns at Bloomingdale's, Neiman Marcus, Saks... really, anywhere they sell clothes for the socialite set. I'd argue that $1000 will go much farther at one of these places in terms of craftsmanship, fabric quality, and tailoring than at a standard bridal shop.
For example, I found a long off-white gown at BCBG (the much lower end of the "designer" scale, obviously, but that's just where I wound up finding it.) I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a prom dress, but as soon as I tried it on, I knew it was "the one"-- and it cost just $380!
I took it to my regular tailor to have a large, sewn-on brooch removed from the front and the hem taken up. With just a couple of alterations, it became an exquisitely simple wedding gown.
2. Don't tell the shopgirls that you're shopping for wedding dresses.
Once you mention you're shopping for your wedding, you become the center of attention-- which, I'll admit, can be flattering at first. But soon, it becomes a drag. I started telling shop-people I was trying things on for a special formal party at which everyone had to wear white. I hate to lie, but it really just saved me from so much stress and pressure.
3. Save on the veil.
This one is major. I decided I wanted a veil at the last minute, so the day before the wedding I went to a bridal shop in Santa Barbara. I was shocked when the sales girl told me that their veils cost between $200 and $1500. I guess most people just buy a veil at the same time they buy the dress, and mentally, what's another $400 on top of a few thousand? But for me, spending that amount would have multiplied my budget! I left the shop feeling a bit embarrassed and very dejected.
But! That same day, my brilliant mom and sister had run to Michael's to pick up some ribbons for my flowers (more on that later.) While they were poking around there, they found a wedding veil for just $15. It was all bunched up and packaged in a little plastic bag, but when we took it out and steamed it, it was long, silky and gorgeous-- it looked exactly like the expensive ones at the bridal shop. So, don't be afraid to walk out of a store empty-handed: It can really pay off to shop around.
4. Buy nice, regular shoes-- not special bridal pumps or "Dyeables."
Shoes are the last thing to cut corners on-- more expensive shoes often just feel better, and comfort is really important on a long day like your wedding. But shoes made just for brides are often overpriced, uncomfortable, and so specifically designed that you'll never wear them again.
I spent nearly $100 on my shoes (and that was with a 50% off coupon), but they were simple, off-while Italian-made leather strappy sandals. I've already worn them a couple of times since the wedding, and they'll stay in my wardrobe for years to come.
The wrap up:
All in all, I'd say my ensemble was quite effective. With shoes ($90), veil ($15), alterations ($40 for shortening and brooch removal) and dress ($380 purchased in Pennsylvania, where there is no sales tax on clothes, woo!), my wedding day ensemble came to a grand total of $525. And, real talk-- I didn't feel a penny short of a million dollars.
For those of you who don't know, wedding dresses can be really expensive; I'm talking thousands of dollars, easily. And that's just at places like David's Bridal-- way before you get into Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier territory. That's fabulous if you can afford it-- but what if you're on a tight budget?
My wedding gown cost only $380. Needless to say, I'm really, really proud of that.
One of my favorite non-husband-and-wife photos from the wedding-- me and my college roommate and dear friend Katie Fernandez
My tips for getting dressed on your wedding day without going broke:
1. Don't go to a wedding or formal dress shop.
You can find the most amazing gowns at Bloomingdale's, Neiman Marcus, Saks... really, anywhere they sell clothes for the socialite set. I'd argue that $1000 will go much farther at one of these places in terms of craftsmanship, fabric quality, and tailoring than at a standard bridal shop.
For example, I found a long off-white gown at BCBG (the much lower end of the "designer" scale, obviously, but that's just where I wound up finding it.) I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a prom dress, but as soon as I tried it on, I knew it was "the one"-- and it cost just $380!
I took it to my regular tailor to have a large, sewn-on brooch removed from the front and the hem taken up. With just a couple of alterations, it became an exquisitely simple wedding gown.
2. Don't tell the shopgirls that you're shopping for wedding dresses.
Once you mention you're shopping for your wedding, you become the center of attention-- which, I'll admit, can be flattering at first. But soon, it becomes a drag. I started telling shop-people I was trying things on for a special formal party at which everyone had to wear white. I hate to lie, but it really just saved me from so much stress and pressure.
3. Save on the veil.
This one is major. I decided I wanted a veil at the last minute, so the day before the wedding I went to a bridal shop in Santa Barbara. I was shocked when the sales girl told me that their veils cost between $200 and $1500. I guess most people just buy a veil at the same time they buy the dress, and mentally, what's another $400 on top of a few thousand? But for me, spending that amount would have multiplied my budget! I left the shop feeling a bit embarrassed and very dejected.
But! That same day, my brilliant mom and sister had run to Michael's to pick up some ribbons for my flowers (more on that later.) While they were poking around there, they found a wedding veil for just $15. It was all bunched up and packaged in a little plastic bag, but when we took it out and steamed it, it was long, silky and gorgeous-- it looked exactly like the expensive ones at the bridal shop. So, don't be afraid to walk out of a store empty-handed: It can really pay off to shop around.
4. Buy nice, regular shoes-- not special bridal pumps or "Dyeables."
Shoes are the last thing to cut corners on-- more expensive shoes often just feel better, and comfort is really important on a long day like your wedding. But shoes made just for brides are often overpriced, uncomfortable, and so specifically designed that you'll never wear them again.
I spent nearly $100 on my shoes (and that was with a 50% off coupon), but they were simple, off-while Italian-made leather strappy sandals. I've already worn them a couple of times since the wedding, and they'll stay in my wardrobe for years to come.
The wrap up:
All in all, I'd say my ensemble was quite effective. With shoes ($90), veil ($15), alterations ($40 for shortening and brooch removal) and dress ($380 purchased in Pennsylvania, where there is no sales tax on clothes, woo!), my wedding day ensemble came to a grand total of $525. And, real talk-- I didn't feel a penny short of a million dollars.
Valentino on socializing
"Darling, at my age, I don't 'hang out.' I go to dinner."
-Fashion designer Valentino Garavani, in an interview in the April 2009 issue of InStyle (I picked up an old issue at the salon yesterday) in response to the question, "Where do you hang out in London?"
Love it. And even though he's got more than 50 years on me, I'd probably answer the exact same way.
-Fashion designer Valentino Garavani, in an interview in the April 2009 issue of InStyle (I picked up an old issue at the salon yesterday) in response to the question, "Where do you hang out in London?"
Love it. And even though he's got more than 50 years on me, I'd probably answer the exact same way.
Chic Chicago
I went to Chicago for the first time last week to visit my sister Elycia. It was an amazing trip, with way too many good things to blog about-- but a highlight was going to the Chicago History Museum.
HEY! Before you yawn and navigate away from this page, hear me out. This museum was awesome—small enough to be digestible, and full enough to be fascinating. The permanent collection includes the bed in which Abraham Lincoln died and an original waitress’ outfit from the first Playboy Club—dangerous AND sexy!
I particularly loved the “Chic Chicago” exhibit, which runs through July 26th 2009. It’s a collection of more than 60 couture outfits worn by Chicago society women from 1861 to 2004, and I would highly recommend it to anyone, regardless of his or her interest in fashion. It's a remarkably well put-together exhibit, and chock full of interesting information about the outfits on display and the women who wore them.
A gown designed by Madeleine Vionnet; worn by Mrs. Potter Palmer II when she was presented to the Queen of England in 1938.
A gown (that weighs 17 pounds!) designed by Charles James and known as the "Butterfly"; Worn by Mrs. John V. Farwell III in 1954.
The coolest part about Chic Chicago was the installation's design: The gallery walls had large photos of Chicago’s factories and slaughterhouses with superimposed quotations from prominent 19th and 20th century writers about the seedy, gritty nature of the city. Basically, the exhibit's organizers acknowledged that the enormous wealth that makes couture clothes available to certain people is often built on the backs of others who aren’t living in such charmed environs. I thought that it was a brave and very responsible way to frame the exhibit.
We weren't allowed to take photos in the gallery, but I found a couple from the exhibit's opening soiree posted online (here and here you can see the photos and quotations I mentioned.) I wonder if the socialites in the foreground of these photos were inspired at all by the exhibit's background to think about where their own clothes came from?
HEY! Before you yawn and navigate away from this page, hear me out. This museum was awesome—small enough to be digestible, and full enough to be fascinating. The permanent collection includes the bed in which Abraham Lincoln died and an original waitress’ outfit from the first Playboy Club—dangerous AND sexy!
I particularly loved the “Chic Chicago” exhibit, which runs through July 26th 2009. It’s a collection of more than 60 couture outfits worn by Chicago society women from 1861 to 2004, and I would highly recommend it to anyone, regardless of his or her interest in fashion. It's a remarkably well put-together exhibit, and chock full of interesting information about the outfits on display and the women who wore them.
A gown designed by Madeleine Vionnet; worn by Mrs. Potter Palmer II when she was presented to the Queen of England in 1938.
A gown (that weighs 17 pounds!) designed by Charles James and known as the "Butterfly"; Worn by Mrs. John V. Farwell III in 1954.
We weren't allowed to take photos in the gallery, but I found a couple from the exhibit's opening soiree posted online (here and here you can see the photos and quotations I mentioned.) I wonder if the socialites in the foreground of these photos were inspired at all by the exhibit's background to think about where their own clothes came from?
